I'm Writing to Express My Approval of Trump's Budget Plan, Which is the Greatest of All Plans

Dear Senator,

As you know, Trump's budget plan was released, and he proposes making cuts to EVERY program and agency, and even completely eliminating some, except the ones with guns and tanks and stuff.

Some of the programs on the cutting block are the Labor Department (I think Trump thinks this relates to women giving birth), Housing Assistance (poor people should just live outside like animals), National Institutes of Health (only weaklings get diseases), the Education Department (children can just be taught by transgender bears trained by Betsy DeVos), and the Environmental Protection Agency (screw those people in West Virginia whose water is getting polluted and giving them cancer).

He is also proposing the elimination of the Corporation for National and Community Service, which would cripple if not destroy the AmeriCorps and SeniorCorps programs, two national service organizations that directly affect thousands of vulnerable people in the Pittsburgh area, in which I live, and hundreds of thousands around the country (hahaha losers). Meals on Wheels would also be targeted, because those elderly folks should just get off their diapered butts and get to the store and buy their own food with the money they don’t have like everyone else, am I right?

I hope by now you sense my sarcasm. Because everything about this plan is a flaming hot pile of garbage, and if any of these proposed cuts even gets entertained by my representatives and senators, I will find someone else to vote for when they’re up for re-election.

Sincerely disappointed,

Ms. Justice

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You can find Ms. Justice on Twitter here.

Posted In: Union Matters

Union Matters

An Invitation to Sunny Miami. What Could Be Bad?

Sam Pizzigati

Sam Pizzigati Editor, Too Much online magazine

If a billionaire “invites” you somewhere, you’d better go. Or be prepared to suffer the consequences. This past May, hedge fund kingpin Carl Icahn announced in a letter to his New York-based staff of about 50 that he would be moving his business operations to Florida. But the 83-year-old Icahn assured his staffers they had no reason to worry: “My employees have always been very important to the company, so I’d like to invite you all to join me in Miami.” Those who go south, his letter added, would get a $50,000 relocation benefit “once you have established your permanent residence in Florida.” Those who stay put, the letter continued, can file for state unemployment benefits, a $450 weekly maximum that “you can receive for a total of 26 weeks.” What about severance from Icahn Enterprises? The New York Post reported last week that the two dozen employees who have chosen not to uproot their families and follow Icahn to Florida “will be let go without any severance” when the billionaire shutters his New York offices this coming March. Bloomberg currently puts Carl Icahn’s net worth at $20.5 billion.

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